Morning Sickness

According to pretty much all the books I have, morning sickness is supposed to start giving way to hunger somewhere around the end of the first trimester. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be happening for me; instead, it's getting worse. I have hardly been able to keep anything down these last 3-4 days. It really really sucks. Especially since I hate throwing up more than almost anything else in the world. Mom tried to reassure me that at least being sick means the baby's probably fine, but for goodness sakes; I need to be able to keep some food in me. And, if I'm ever going to work again (I've taken yesterday and today off due to being absolutely miserable), I need to be able to survive the 1.5 hour bus ride. And I also need to be able to make it through doing the dishes without gagging every 5 seconds. Especially without having Beowulf home for me to beg to do them instead.

It snowed here last night. Not much; just about a half-inch. It doesn't normally snow here in February, and it'll be gone by this afternoon. But for now it looks pretty.

I'm also excited about the current giveaway going on at Trying Our Best. The Mrs. is giving away a 4-disk pack of Hushabye Baby lullabies...this is my fave bloggy giveaway recently, since it is something I could actually use. Here's hoping I win!

Adjusting

I'm starting to actually feel pregnant - I mean, besides the morning sickness. I'm now wearing exclusively maternity pants. While I'm not really big enough yet to fill out the stretchy tummy-covering waist band, they still manage to stay up (mostly), and they're way more comfortable than doing the rubber-band-through-the-buttonhole thing with my old pants. I'm also definitely sticking out more in front than on the sides; I can tell that give it another month or so and I will actually look pregnant and not just fat, even to people that don't know me. I've even noticed that the way I walk is starting to change a little bit, besides just slowing down. And my lower back gets sore easier - once the nausea is gone, I should see what I can do about strengthening those muscles, because that's only going to get worse.

Since I'm finally past the 12-week mark, I finally let myself actually buy something for the baby yesterday. I got a cute little newborn yellow classic pooh footed pjs at Target while I was killing time waiting for the video store to open so I could exchange a movie. I'm also thinking about setting up the bassinet that Mom & Dad gave me, even though I originally wanted to wait for Beowulf to get home from training before I did that.

Of course, every time I think about that, I start thinking about all the other stuff I need to do this spring/summer to prepare for baby, some of which has to be done before we even go buy a crib or rocker or anything. Things like getting rid of the futon that is currently in the room that will become the nursery, and clearing the rest of Beowulf's old military gear (stuff he doesn't use anymore) out of that room's closet, trading out the cedar chests (small one currently in the bedroom with the big one in the baby's room), and possibly finding a new place for my sewing machine.

I'd also like to get some of the junk cleaned out of the garage before Beowulf deploys, hook up the extra TV/DVD player in the bedroom (not sure why I haven't done that already), clean out the back garden so that we can grow tomatoes again this year, change out the light fixtures in both hallways (the bulbs these use burn out in 2 weeks, I swear), and maybe even get Beowuf and some of his buddies to help build the fence on the side yard that we've been intending to re-do since we moved in last year.

Learning

I'm figuring things out, gradually. I've figured out (thanks to yesterday's misadventures) that walking fast makes my nausea worse, and so one of the easiest ways to control nausea when I'm on the move is to slow down. I tend to be a fast walker, so this has the potential to become frustrating for me when I want to get somewhere, and was also not the easiest thing to figure out. But now I know, and I will work on it. I already knew about keeping something in my stomach, but certain things work and certain things don't, and it's kind of a matter of experimentation to figure out what works, as it seems to change daily. But I'm also learning that protein (i.e., meat) helps combat my nausea a little better than do breads or fruits and veggies.

I am very glad that this week is only a 3-day work week. I heart rest and relaxation, especially when I'm starting to feel a little off-balance. I went and bought a pair of maternity "lounge" pants at Old Navy during lunch today that can pass as slacks so that I can wear them to work. All my other pants are getting snug, especially when I sit, which I do most of the day. And anything snug around my stomach makes me more nauseous. I couldn't resist changing into my new pants on my break, and am soooo much more comfortable now than I was before. Yay for knit pants that look like slacks! I may have to go back and get another pair in another color.

My emotions are back under control again (thank goodness), but I am still tired today. Part of it is that the spouse's event I went to last night went kind of late - it was after 10 before I got home. It was fun, though. I couldn't eat as much as I would have liked due to being mildly nauseous all freaking day, but I enjoyed what I could get down, and even found myself liking the cheesecake, something I normally don't like all that much.

I've also noticed that some things that I used to love (milk, crackers, garlic bread, and yogurt, to name a few) I can't stand anymore. And some things that I was never all that thrilled with (cheesecake, lemonade, and popcorn, for example) I now love. Hormones are crazy in all the things they can do to a person.

Hard day

For no reason I can figure out, I am having a rough day today. My nausea has been worse than usual; I actually threw up into the sidewalk grate on my way to work this morning. I ate a bagel, and have now also eaten a muffin, and while I have not thrown up again, my nausea has not gone away, by any means. I am tired and grumpy, everything seems to smell funny (including the beautiful flowers my bosses provided as a valentine's gift to the support staff), and my emotions are out of control. I mean, I'm just sitting here, working on stuff, and feeling like I'm going to burst into tears at any moment, for no reason.

I wish I could go home and hug my husband, but he's away for training right now, working his butt off, so that's not an option. I'm also supposed to go to a spouses event tonight, which is supposed to be a ton of fun - I am praying that I can get over this nausea and this mood by this afternoon/evening so that I can enjoy myself and not spend the evening sick and miserable.

I am grateful to be pregnant - incredibly, eternally grateful. I just wish it didn't have to be so difficult some days.

Today's Checkup

So no pictures. The doc said that I look to be right where I should be, there seemed to be nothing to worry about. My uterus is the right size for being 10 weeks pregnant, though we couldn't hear the heartbeat with the doppler yet, which the doc also wasn't worried about; he said after 12 weeks it should be much more audible. The doc also said that if I wanted I could make an appointment with radiology to have an "early" ultrasound done, but he didn't think there was any need to. Otherwise I will get the standard one at 20 weeks. I've been thinking about it, and I think I'll just go ahead and wait, unless something happens. So everything seems fine, though he did have me do an early glucose test, since diabetes runs in our family, and since my mom had gestational diabetes when she was pregnant with me. So I did that today, too, and it wasn't as bad as the horror stories I've heard about the glucose solution they make you drink. It mostly tasted like orange Tang, just sweeter. It was cold, which I'm sure helped a lot - it probably would have been disgusting if it had been warm.

Anyway, so not nearly as exciting as I thought it would be, but all good.

Alive and well

So I had thought I was over the cold on Wednesday when I went in to the office, but no. By noon I was miserable, and ended up going home mid-day. Spent most of Thursday taking naps on the couch, while my husband (on a rare day off) played video games. Felt better Friday, but not quite back to normal, so still took it easy, and then Saturday was feeling much better and went and hung out with my mom. I'm back to work today, feeling much better (if still nauseous, but hopefully that will go away soon, too, as I'm nearing the end of the first trimester), and very much looking forward to my OB appointment on Thursday.

From the other gals I've talked to who have had babies recently, it sounds like they will actually do an ultrasound or sonogram (is there a difference?) at this appointment, so I may get pictures of my little fig-sized fetus to take home with me. They should be able to determine the size and approximate age of the baby and hear its heartbeat, but no gender yet; it's still too early. That won't be for about another 10 weeks. But I'm approximately a quarter of the way through the pregnancy now. And I'm starting to show a little. Well, not to normal people on the street; to anyone who doesn't know I'm pregnant, I probably just look like I'm gaining weight in my abdomen. But I can tell the difference, and so can my jeans. I found out that Old Navy was having an online sale on maternity stuff on Friday, so I ordered a pair of jeans, a sweater, and a few shirts. Like 6 things for under $100, and free shipping. Woohoo. Hopefully by the time I can't wear my size-bigger work slacks anymore, I won't be working anymore, so it won't matter that I don't have maternity slacks. Hopefully.

As far as that goes, I still don't know when my last day is. The partners were supposed to discuss it and get back to me. They haven't gotten back to me yet, and I have no idea whether they've discussed it already or not. I hope they do it soon if they haven't. I want to know; I want to have an end-date to look forward to. I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sniffly but still here

So I did end up getting Beowulf's cold. I stayed home the last 2 days with a hacking cough and an achy body for which all I could take was regular-old Tylenol. While hubby got 3 different medicines issued from the physician's assistant he saw at sick call, I had to make do with low doses of acetaminophen and as much water as I could drink. Thankfully I was able to keep my temperature below 100 the whole time (no significant fever; only hovered at 99.7 degrees for about an hour before it went back down), so baby's ok, as far as I can tell. I'm better now; not all the way better, but better enough to be at work today. Not that I actually do much at work these days, but I'm here. And somebody has been eating my peanuts.

I had read that protein-heavy snacks can help offset morning sickness, and protein is good for the baby anyway, so I had bought a nice big jar of peanuts for my desk at work to snack on as I got hungry and as morning sickness attacked. I had eaten about an inch and a half's worth out of the jar before I left work on Thursday. I got to work this morning and the jar is half empty. Grrr... Somebody's been eating my snacks.

Let me warn you right now. Never steal a pregnant lady's food. I have now written "DO NOT EAT MY PEANUTS!" all over the jar. Hopefully this will prevent any further munching by people other than me. I can't believe someone did that! Usually people in this office are very respectful of other peoples' property. Grrr...

Our receptionist thinks that it must be the janitors that ate my peanuts after hours. I am not convinced. :(